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Cheap Flights

(Posted 19:30:29 on 11th March 2012 by Anon)
A great video.

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Fergie Misses His Bus

(Posted 16:48:39 on 21st May 2009 by Hog)
Got sent this clip of Sir Alex missing his bus. Brilliant and a lot of credit to the creator.

Fergie Misses Bus Clip

Tried to find out more about the mysterious “McGroing” who created this and all I could find is comments to the effect of “you wouldn't want to order one of them in McDonalds and, if you did, you certainly wouldn't want to supersize it”
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Wii Willie Winkie

(Posted 13:29:25 on 21st November 2008 by Hog)
Got sent this video from my brother. Came up with the title myself. Doesn't really need a lot of explaining as it's pretty much aimed at the lowest common denominator.

Download Clip (3Mb)
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Worst Album Covers of All Time

(Posted 10:41:26 on 24th April 2008 by San Francisco Sam)
How many albums do you have with tasteless covers? Well, a list of the worst album covers of all time has been put together. The link below will take you there and you can see whether or not you've contributed to the spread of bad art / bad posing.

Worst Album Covers of All Time
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Yoga

(Posted 15:20:52 on 3rd March 2008 by Rag)
There are two basic types of yoga.

Indian yoga requires much practice, patience and discipline:
dblclickskull.jpg



And then there's British yoga:
dblclickskull.jpg
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Babies For Dummies

(Posted 15:21:44 on 1st March 2008 by Concerned Parent)
With everybody having babies it's time to get out some essential baby care advice. The attached document has many "must know" tips.

Babies For Dummies
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European English

(Posted 14:22:24 on 25th February 2008 by Doris)
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
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Bar Stool Economics

(Posted 11:02:20 on 12th February 2008 by Unknown)
Our Tax System Explained: Bar Stool Economics (It's easier to see things clearly from the lofty perch of a bar stool) Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:
  • The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
  • The fifth would pay $1.
  • The sixth would pay $3.
  • The seventh would pay $7.
  • The eighth would pay $12.
  • The ninth would pay $18.
  • The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.
So, that's what they decided to do.

The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve ball. "Since you are all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20." Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men - the paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair share?' They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer. So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.
And so:
  • The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
  • The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings).
  • The seventh now paid $5 instead of $7 (28%savings).
  • The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
  • The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
  • The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).
Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.

"I only got a dollar out of the $20,"declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man," but he got $10!"

"Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man. "I only saved a dollar, too. It's unfair that he got ten times more than I got"

"That's true!!" shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!"

"Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison. "We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!"

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

And that, ladies and gentlemen, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.
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Olan Mills from the 1970s

(Posted 11:39:04 on 26th January 2008 by Unknown)
Seems like somebody else has been thumbing through their (or their parents) old catalogs. As a sequel to the JC Penney from 1977 article, I've been sent the observations of someone who has delved into the 70s collection at Olan Mills. (Not sure whether these are all 1975 or just some).

Anyway, hope you enjoy: Back to the 70s with Olan Mills.
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How To Deal With Cold Callers

(Posted 03:53:57 on 4th January 2008 by Tara)
Got sent this video clip from a friend (Tara). I think it's brilliant and I just wish I had the patience to come up with something as funny as this when I get cold calls. It's a video clip of Tom Mabe's conversation with a cold caller.

Download Clip (3Mb)
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Jumper

(Posted 23:47:42 on 3rd December 2007 by Hog)
A rude and politically incorrect cartoon (you have been warned). If you want to run the risk of being offended, click here
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JC Penney From 1977

(Posted 14:41:15 on 3rd November 2007 by Unknown)
I was sent this attached file in an email and have converted it to a pdf. I'm not sure of the original source, but huge respect goes to the person who created this. Somebody has gotten hold of a JC Penney catalog from 1977 and copied some of the pictures into their blog. This, in itself is funny, but the respect goes to the excellent commentary that's provided along with each of the pictures.

Click the link to take a trip down memory lane to 1977's JC Penney. Enjoy!
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Aussie Whine

(Posted 17:29:41 on 10th October 2007 by Eugene)
Open 2007-10-10 172938.jpg
Seems like the English may be coming back and the Aussies find it hard to swallow.
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New England Rugby Jersey

(Posted 04:59:10 on 25th September 2007 by Kerry)
Open 2007-09-25 045909.jpg
Picture says it all. Better luck next time.
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Condoms

(Posted 18:48:32 on 26th July 2007 by Anon)
Many thanks for the submission of the linked condoms document.

Not much of an article to put around this as the document speaks for itself. Take a look and see which condom suits you best.
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Arkansas Final Exam

(Posted 11:20:31 on 19th July 2007 by Rag)
In response to the article below on the British Class System, I was sent the Arkansas Final Exam

Enjoy.
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Need an Idea for a Stag Party

(Posted 11:10:21 on 19th July 2007 by Rag)
I got sent this the other day - this is such a brilliant idea.

These guys rented a midget for the 4 days and handcuffed him to the stag. They painted the midget blue and dressed him like a smurf and the poor guy had to be handcuffed 24 hours of the day for 4 days to the stag. The guys on the stag paid for all the midget's food and drink and paid for his flight etc (cost around GBP850 if you wanted to do the same) but the guy had to do everything with the stag....eat, drink, swim, shower, sleep, wee etc etc.

Rag 2007-07-19 104021.jpg


Apparently no midgets were harmed during the weekend!
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Test for the British Class System

(Posted 21:46:30 on 18th July 2007 by Rag)
I was under the impression that we'd done away with the class system in the UK, but it seems I'm wrong. Thanks to Ross for uncovering the secrets behind the eduction system.

On a side note, I wonder where Ross' source came from. Has he been hanging round schools again? Is the next Rossette on the cards? How does it go? “My name is Uncle Nobby .....”

For those of you that didn't understand that last paragraph, just enjoy the linked exam questions
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Your Article Here

(Posted 10:33:27 on 15th July 2007 by Rag)
Open 2007-07-15 103324.jpg
Here's your opportunity to write about anything you want to. Come across anything funny? Well, why not share it with the rest of us? The Open Forum blogs allow you to post your own entries. You can even submit photos / pictures to compliment your article (or maybe they're the main feature of the article).

There's no need to register (at least not yet, if this page gets abused then we may change this policy), so go ahead and try it.
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Turning Japanese

(Posted 19:51:35 on 11th June 2007 by Rag)
Open Notepad in Windows. Type in "bush hid the facts" without the quotes or pressing enter. Save the file, then open it again. Huh??
1 comment
Rag
13:41:23
18th February 2023
This bug has apparently been fixed. Apparently it was a Windows Unicode bug see Bush hid the facts.

Get Your Armbands Out

(Posted 19:48:34 on 11th June 2007 by Rag)
Go to Google Maps and get directions from "New York" to "London".
2 comments
e
23:46:40
20th June 2007
kesaco?
Rag
08:43:03
20th July 2007
Boo! Seems like Google have stopped this. For anyone interested, it gave you directions that included swimming across the Atlantic. Probably ended up with more people searching for this than for real directions.

Alternatively, it could have just been a marketing ploy to build up awareness of Google Maps.

Why Bother?

(Posted 19:46:47 on 11th June 2007 by Rag)
This section of the blog site is designed for those of you that have too much time (which is rich coming from someone who spent their time building this site in the first place). Anyway, these are things that are generally amusing.
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