Remove lid and push up bottom
(Posted 15:36:09 on 9th April 2008 by Rag)
I think it was Jasper Carrot that did a sketch back in the 80's about being concerned of people that take instructions literally. This was tied to the advent of the gel stick deodorants that you took the lid off and applied instead of using an aerosol. As the gel wore down, you simply push the stick up from the bottom (nowadays they tend to have a knob on the bottom to screw ... oh err!).
Anyway, these early gel sticks came with the instructions "remove lid and push up bottom". Mr Carrott duly pointed out that taking these instructions literally may not lead the correct application of the deodorant.
Anyway, I'm beginning to think that these instructions are specifically designed for me. I'm now wondering whether there's anything that I shouldn't be pushing up my bottom. After having had many, many things poked up there and a lot of stuff coming out all too quickly, seems that this has taken its toll on the old ring piece and we've popped a hemorrhoid or two. So, was in the hospital today to start the new wonder cure (rat dna stuff) which I've had and they said they'd give me something for hemorrhoids. The product is aptly named “anusol” as that's exactly where you need to put it - up your anusol. Seems the cure for having things poked up and out of your bum is to poke more things up there.
The instructions tell me to pop in one of these suppositories at bed time. One hopes that there isn't anything expected to come out after insertion as I normally plan to sleep after going to bed. I also keep reading the instructions and linking it to mouth wash or something and expect to see it say - pop one in at bed time and wake up with minty fresh breath. Somehow I don't think this is going to happen, but it would be interesting if I started doing minty fresh farts.
