Vote Archives

Question:

Why is it that, nowadays, after I've been sitting for a while and I get up, I do a massive fart?

Results:

You've always done this was the clear winner with 75% of the votes from the following selection:

• Old age (13%)
• Stomach problems (0%)
• Bad diet (0%)
• Beer (13%)
• Swallowing air (0%)
• You've always done this (75%)

Analysis:

To be honest, it's probably a combination of all of them. That said, the dumbest thing to do after setting this question would be to eat an out of date enchilada and refried beans dinner. It was only a day out of date, so it didn't seem that bad. Let me tell you, did I wake up to a musical tune. Wow! But the pinnacle was in the evening when I went out to fetch the bins (trash cans) in. I let rip to an insanely loud trumpet. And with the mountains around the house, it yodeled back at me. Sort of a fartel. So, I did the thing where I looked up and down the street to see if anyone had witnessed the tearing of space and time. Nobody had and I went back inside. The funny thing is that I thought about it later and realized that I wasn't embarrassed and I wonder whether I didn't want anyone to hear my tootiledge or if I wanted a witness that could share in the moment. If I'm being honest, I think it was the later as I was rather proud of it.